It may surprise you to learn I was for a time in law enforcement. Detention officer to be exact. I worked in the jail for a little over a year. It wasn’t the allure of the badge or some sense of moral duty that brought me in. I was recruited. Talk about a whole different world. It is that and then some. I figured that out in training class.
I remember my first day learning under Sargent Mark Stephens, we were all wide eyed, we were all excited and nervous, we were eager, but we were not all the same. As I looked around the room i very quickly noticed I was the only one with “snow on the roof.” My age was a clear difference.
I was surrounded by 20 somethings with no real idea of how their world was about to change. I too would be surprised, but not exactly in the same ways. But all of that is a story for another day. Today I want to tell you about is the time I hit the wall.
It was time I leveled up in my career
There I was a few months into the job when I decided I wanted to be on the S.O.R.T. team. That is basically the SWAT team for the jail. You know, the guys that run into the big scary problems instead of away from them. Yeah, I never claimed to be smart. Anyway; there I was on the physical testing day. I had to run a mile and a half in under 15 minutes, complete a certain number of sit-ups in 60 seconds, followed by a certain number of push ups in 60 seconds, and then do 10 pull ups in 60 seconds. Easy right?
Well let me tell you what they didn’t tell us until we started.
#1 if you don’t make the time on the run you are disqualified. I had prepped for the run, but I always ran at night, when its cool, like a sane person. Not today! Its early afternoon in Oklahoma summer…. I made it, but I was not gonna be keeping my late breakfast down if you get my drift.
#2 The sit-ups had to be perfect for them to count. No arching your back, your feet have to stay completely on the floor, and your arms can not come off the floor before your back does. Yes… insane expectations again! I did it, but ended up doing 1.5 times more than I should have due to missing on the parameters.
#3 The pushups…. were military style. So your hands had to be close to your chest and elbows touching your sides, and you had to hover with your nose being the only thing that touched the floor for a 2 count before you could go back up for the next one. Listen, my nose is not exactly petite so there was no cheating for me! Not to mention I always have done wide stance pushups. That is harder than military style, unless that is YOU HAVE NEVER DONE military style! Now instead of my shoulders doing the work, it was all triceps… and no.. no I didn’t finish.
#4 The pullups…. they were last, no swinging allowed, just straight up and down with your feet locked together.
#5 Was the killer, these were all done back to back to back with no rest in between! I barely kept my cookies down on the run! Now I have to go nonstop through this physical gauntlet?
They say once a runner “hits the wall” their body no longer feels the pain and struggle.
I can categorically tell you I hit the wall about halfway through the pushups. But I am no runner, so when I hit the wall, the wall didn’t move! I failed the test by 2 points. That is one pushup and one pullup. I wanted to make it, I tried to make it, I just physically could not do what it takes to be on the team. I failed. Did I mention I was pushing 40 when I did this?
John 5 tells the story of Jesus healing a man at the Pool of Bethesda. It was believed that an angel from heaven would stir the waters in the pool and the first person in the water would be healed. Jesus comes on the scene and asks the man if he wants to be healed. Here is what he said. “Sir, I have no man to put me into the pool when the water is stirred up; but while I am coming, another steps down before me.” John 5:7 Of course Jesus healed him on the spot.
But he tried
This man had been trying to get in the water for 38 years! Still here he was at the water’s edge trying to will himself into the water just once before someone else stole his healing. But what is missed here is that he tried! He was doing everything he could humanly do in the frail body he was trapped in.
In our spiritual lives we have a calling, a God given dream, and we have challenges. But all too often we try once, try twice, and throw our hands up in defeat claiming, “It must not be God’s will”. We quit chasing the dreams God placed in us because we didn’t get them on our own, the first few times we tried to get there. We become content to sit back and watch others get the healing or blessing or success God offers. All the while shrinking away defeated.
Let me tell you, this man if any man should have given up! 38 years of the infirmity, 38 years of being alone fighting this fight, 38 years of failing. How many people at the pool over the years told him to give up, that he would never be healed? But where was he when Jesus came? He was at the pool, near the water, trying yet again.
Don’t let go of your dream, don’t give up the fight against the thorn in your side, don’t quit trying. Don’t let someone who doesn’t have your dream speak defeat into your life. Because if we are where we should be, trying in faith to chase our God dream, Something will happen. Jesus will come on the scene.